January 30th

 "He promised not to sell her again and I believed him." 

- Page 633, A Daughter of Han


    In this story, Ning shares about her relationship with her husband who was emotionally, if not physically, abusive and would sell their children for money. Both he and her were poor and did not come from wealthy families, they had no oil to light lamps and had to beg on the streets for money for food. The first time the husband sold their daughter, it was for 3500 but the second time, Ning was not sure how much he got for her. The second time as well, Ning did not go and get back her daughter. The family who had paid for her was one of wealth, who ended up giving her a good life-- something she would not have had otherwise because of her familial situation. 

    This piece in particular really upset me because of the sheer sadness of it all. Ning knew she could not leave her husband in good faith and spoke about how her parents may not have left her money but they left her a respectable last name that she would not do wrong by. Even though her husband was an awful man, she had no choice but to stay with him for a very long time, which is sadly the case for a lot of domestic violence victims and their families. What makes matters even worse in my opinion is that people would come to her and tell her these things about her husband, yet not offer to help her or even see how she was doing. Yes, her 'neighbors' helped her get back her daughter the first time, but they really didn't help her get out of her awful situation and marriage. 

    Truthfully, I think that Ning makes the decisions she does to protect her children and herself from a life of anguish and disrespect. Would she rather stay with her husband and keep her self respect or tarnish her family name and go off on her own? Really, there was no 'winning' situation for her to have and it is awful that she was left with her husband when people knew how awful he was. When she finally 'came out' I think that meant that she had finally came out of her relationship with her husband and was on her own, something that she was setting the precedent for in her family and I can only imagine the hardships she faced, not to mention that her husband was still living in the home that she paid for. The manipulation and coercion that she faced was just ridiculous and it was very hard to read. 

Comments

  1. Jordan MilesJanuary 30, 2023 at 8:02 AM

    I completely agree that it was upsetting to see that she could not leave her husband, even though he treated her and their family horribly and sold their daughter. I also agreed with your perspective on when she said she "came out" at the end.

    ReplyDelete

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